Some Thoughts on Election Day 2016

1. Social Media is a horribly divisive thing.  I am sure for centuries there have been differing political views in families and friend circles and churches.  But people are now “saying” things out loud, online, that they would never vocalize in person.  Unfortunately I don’t think Believers in Christ look much different than the rest of the world in this area.  If you truly want to reach people who are lost and you openly support a candidate and bash the opponent, you have just lost the respect and possibly the ear of half of the people who read your posts.

2. I am so confused by this whole feminist thing.  So many people seem to be voting for Hilary based on her gender.  I get it…..many people also voted for Obama based on his race.  But why are women suddenly being viewed as oppressed?  In America?  Really?  I must be totally blind, because things seem pretty even to me.  I can’t help but wonder what women in three-fourths of the world, who are TRULY oppressed, think when they see American women claiming to be feminists and talk about being oppressed.  It’s embarrassing.

3. Ultimately I had to base my vote on something.  Honestly, until about a week ago I didn't think I could cast a vote for either person.  As much as I could, I pulled the personalities of the candidates aside and chose the person who I believe will lead the country in the best direction.  You will not see me post who that person is on facebook or twitter or even on this blog, (which I'm not even sure anyone reads.)  I'm smart enough to know that proclaiming who I choose is not going to influence others to do the same.  And I am choosing to love people rather than divide people.

I didn’t vote for our current president, and I didn’t agree with most things he did while in office.  But I still had a level of of respect for him.  It’s probably the way I was brought up to respect those in authority.  I cringed inwardly when I was around people who bashed him.  Whether the person I voted for wins tonight or not, the president is the president.  I was born into, and have chosen to remain in, a country where the people choose.  And most importantly, God is always good,

Wait. I Like Sports??

This morning I was reminded that the Summer Olympics are this year!  Now, if you know me, “sports fan” is definitely not in the list of terms people would use to describe who I am.  Sure, I enjoy an occasional Buckeye football game or maybe a little bit of football between the Superbowl commercials, but VERY little else.  But for some reason, I will turn on the TV and watch summer and winter Olympics.

So this got me thinking.  What is it about the Olympics that appeals to me?  I have pondered this today and here is the best conclusion I came to.  Before an event, the network shares stories of some of the athletes.  We hear about how some of them overcame crazy obstacles to get where they are.  Maybe they had some type of physical disability that they conquered.  Or they come from a little-known country where they had to train themselves.  But despite what was in their way, they made it to the very top of their sport.  They made it through qualifying rounds and now they are the best of the best and get to compete for a spot on a podium.  Before the Opening Ceremonies, I probably can’t name a single athlete that will be competing (remember….not a sports fan) but for 2 weeks I get to be inspired by great stories and emotional victories.

So, if I was at the top of my game, would I have a story?  What would the 3 minute clip be before I swim the 400 meter individual medley.  (yeah, I think I would pick swimming if I was going to be there.)

<< Cue dreamy, dramatic music >>  Born to a loving family of average means in the capital city of Ohio, Beth had a great childhood.  She got to experience great things like family vacations, awards at school and really great friendships.  Like many first-borns, she liked to excel in school, in music and in making good life decisions.  She rarely got into trouble of any kind (well maybe little bits here and there, but that doesn’t show up in the film.)  She went to church most every Sunday as a kid and served less fortunate people through various organizations.  People who knew her well thought she had it all together.  BUT…….she was dead and headed to hell.  All of her moral living and good deeds were worthless in changing her destination.  Over time, and with Godly people speaking into her life, she realized that only through a real relationship with Jesus could something be done about her doomed existence.  << Cue epic music> >>  Her life took a 180 degree turn and she changed her destiny forever!

Okay, I’m cheesy.  But face it….people love a good “rags to riches”, “defeat turned to success” story.  And LITERALLY all my moral living and good deeds were like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6) until I realized that in Christ, I could gain everything.  And even the best tear-jerking Olympic athlete story pales in comparison to the stories of being dead and then being alive!  

Man, I love a good story…

Ephesians 2:5-6The Message (MSG)

He Tore Down the Wall

2 1-6 It wasn’t so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn’t know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us in the same boat. It’s a wonder God didn’t lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on his own, with no help from us! Then he picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah.

Failure to Launch

I wasn’t going to do this post, but it kept popping into my head, so this is my attempt to get rid of it.

Disclaimer:  This post is not directed at anyone in particular.  If you read this and think I am writing specifically to you, I definitely am not.  It is merely based on my observations and my opinions concerning this young adult generation.

More and more often I am seeing young adults (18-28) who are not “launching.”  I would almost describe them as stuck.  They either don’t know what they want to do or they don’t have any motivation to just do something.  They may either continue to live at home, dependent on their parents, still living as a teenager even though they are in their early twenties.  Or sometimes they take the step of moving out, usually with other friends who are also “stuck,” and continue to drift aimlessly for the next decade.

Don’t hear me saying that everyone’s life needs to look the same…..graduate HS at 18, go to a 4 year college, land your “forever career”, marry at 24, babies at 26.  I think there are lots of paths that look very different than this.  But when I look at so many young adults, I don’t see adults.  Also, don’t hear me saying our family got all of this right.  We didn’t.

I don’t think it can be said that 100% of these cases can be “blamed” on parenting, but I do think that there are certain things parents can do to give their kids the best chance at success.  There are certain milestones that hit before a kid turns 18 that help lead to independence.  These are baby steps to adulthood and when I see families who don’t take some of these steps, the result is not always positive.  

• Getting a driver’s license.  It is a lot of work and stress for the parents, but it is so necessary in building independence.
• Working a job.  You may think “How is making blizzards at DQ going to help my child?”  Well…time management, budgeting, work ethic, interview skills, interpersonal skills, understanding employee-employer relations….I could go on and on.
• Being totally responsible for their school work.  By the last 2 years of high school, I think kids should be self-motivated and handling their own education.  Too many times I see parents checking grades on-line daily, delivering forgotten school items to the school (oops, I was bad about that one), talking to teachers and administrators when a 17 year old should be doing that themselves.
• Working out problems themselves.  I’m not saying don’t be supportive and give advice or jump in when absolutely necessary.  I AM saying, “Let them fail.”  If they are having a problem with a friend, they need to work it out.  The coach is not playing them on the team?  Encourage them to set up a meeting to talk about it.

There is something about this generation that is vastly different than my generation.  Sure, we had a few drifters, but for the most part my peers left home at 18 for college or the military or a career and rarely ended up back home.  We set goals and, even if they were unrealistic and had to be modified (yes, I started out pre-med), we had a plan.

I also think we are too willing to support this drifting lifestyle; letting kids stay home for years while they figure it out.  But they aren’t figuring it out.  They are playing video games and living in a world of social media rather than the world of flesh and bones.  Things like walking into a college class or interviewing for a job are hard and uncomfortable.  Why do that when you can sit in a comfy house where people won’t reject you or you have to do things that aren’t always fun?

So far I have hit on a lot of practical, concrete things.  But there is one really big thing, too.  I believe that parenting your child’s spiritual health is by far the most important thing you can do to get them ready for adulthood.  You cannot make them say YES to Christ….only they can do that.  But you can do everything within your ability to fan the flame and fuel the fire.  For an 18 year old living on mission, adulthood and independence are not big, scary things.  They are amazing opportunities to do the only two things that are really important.  Bring glory to God, and show others the reason for your hope.  EVERYTHING else you do with your life comes back to those 2 things if you are a believer.  If you keep Him your focus and your mission and your prize, suddenly interviewing for a job, getting an apartment, building relationships become a little more appealing, don’t they?

Again, if you know me and you felt like I was talking about you, I wasn’t.  This is a broad trend and maybe someone with a 12 year old will read this and do something differently.

Keep It Simple

Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.  

1 Peter 3:15 

I recently listened to a 3-part sermon series by Andy Stanley called Prepared.  LOVED IT.  It really reminded me how simple evangelism really should be.  To give Andy credit, most of the thoughts in this post come from him, not me.

One of the most frustrating things about being a Christian is the questions people ask about what you believe. If you had fifteen minutes, you could answer. But what are you supposed to say in just a few seconds? How do you defend your faith without losing your mind?

So often the reason I don’t have spiritual conversations with non-believers is because I am afraid I am not going to be able to face their arguments or defend what I believe.  So even if I feel like I am supposed to open my mouth, I don’t.  It’s not because I don’t love them them enough or because I am not broken over the fact that they are facing an eternity separated from God.  (Well, I think I could get better at that too, but that was not really the point of this series.)

Here is my big takeaway….

I do not have to be able to fight for a literal 6 day creation story.

I do not have to interpret the parables.

I do not have to explain how I think the end times are going to play out.

I do not have to try to prove that Jonah was in a big fish or that Jesus fed thousands of people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish.

I do not even have to quote scripture.

I am simply responsible for 1 Peter 3:15.  To make it personal: “Beth needs to be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks her to give the reason for the hope that she has.”  That is MY hope.  This is MY reason for believing something that can only be fully believed by faith.  Suddenly that sounds a lot less intimidating to me.  

When someone wants to know why you chose to follow Jesus, his or her question will probably focus on lifestyle choices, the church, Old Testament stories, or miracles. But the question you should answer is, “Why Jesus?” Give the answer Jesus’ followers have been giving since the first century: the reason you’re a Jesus follower is the resurrection. If there were no resurrection, there would be no faith.

Here is what Andy says:

“I believe Jesus died for my sin and rose from the dead, but not because the Bible says so. I believe because Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Peter, James, and Paul said so. They were eyewitnesses and friends of eyewitnesses.”

For this to make total sense, I highly recommend listening to the series.  It will definitely be an excellent tool in your evangelism toolbox.  Here is where you can find the messages.

Longing for Heaven

Longing for Heaven

I freakishly LOVE anticipation.  Whenever there is a big event or a vacation or a huge life-changing occurrence, I thoroughly enjoy the days leading up to it.  I remember as a kid being so excited the night before going to an amusement park, that I literally laid awake most of the night thinking about the fun I was going to have.  First day of school every fall?  Same thing.  From the moment we book a cruise or family trip, the excitement and anticipation begin building.  While I love surprising other people at the last minute with a trip or fun night out, I’m not sure I want to be surprised because that would mean missing out on the “dreaming” about the thing.  Basically I am longing for something that is to come…..something I know I am going to enjoy MORE than what I am currently experiencing.

Sometimes I long for heaven.  No, I don’t think about sending myself there prematurely and I am fine with however many more days or years God gives me here on earth.  But I genuinely get so excited when I think about what is to come.  The funny part to me is that these times of longing often don’t even happen on my worst days.  It can be just an average day or even a really blessed day, but I will catch myself having that excited feeling that I remember as a kid.  What is coming is infinitely better than ANYTHING I am experiencing here.  

The best comparison I can come up with (and it definitely pales) is marriage.  When you get engaged, you instantly enter this stage of anticipation.  Some days are packed full of planning and dreaming and getting ready for the wedding.  Some days your thoughts are constantly on the anticipation of getting to spend the rest of your life with the person you love.  And then some days you get caught up in the realities of every day life and just an occasional “whisper” of a thought about the marriage creeps in once in a while.  And the closer the wedding gets…..the more your anticipation grows.

That is what my longing for heaven is like. Some nights I almost can’t sleep because I am so excited to be in heaven with Jesus.  Some days the waves of life are too consuming and I just have an occasional whisper-thought.  

Sometimes when I see people who are absolutely terrified of death (and I don’t even mean a painful dying process….but actual death) or people who have extreme and prolonged grief after losing a loved one who is a believer, I have to stop and think.  Do they really, truly get it?  Heaven is going to be incredible!  

Every dream or longing I can possibly have does not even come close that what it is actually going to be like!  And if I am so excited just from the little hints that scripture gives us and what my little mind can imagine…..then just wait until the real thing!!

Remember, I said I "freakishly" love anticipation.  I know.  I am not normal.  :)

To my daughter on her 21st Birthday

I have written letters before and included them in my blog for a few reasons.  

1. I figure it is a good place to store them.  
2. I want to publicly celebrate my amazing kids.
3. Sometimes these things will someday apply to my younger kids which is why this letter begins Dear Daughter....




Dear Daughter,

Happy 21st Birthday!  Every birthday is special and always another opportunity to celebrate YOU and the wonderful gift that you are.  Birthdays probably mean the most to parents, who can look back and remember not only the amazing day you were born but all the special times along the way.  Your dad and I are so thankful for you and the perfectly unique way that God put you together and entrusted you to us.

Lots of birthdays are special milestones.  You turned 10 and it was “double digits!”  13 and you became a teenager.  Sweet 16 and you could drive a car.  18 and you were legally an adult and could vote.  Our society has attached a milestone to this birthday as well.  You are 21 and you can legally buy and drink alcohol.

Yikes.  Where to begin...  

I could begin with what God’s Word says about drinking, and I know you have learned this.  The Bible does not prohibit drinking, but it does have some things to say about it.  (1 Corinthians 10:23-24, 1 Corinthians 8:9, Galatians 5:21) I think there is one key to guide it all:  You are an ambassador for Christ!  All the time and everywhere you go.  You are representing Him.  Think for one moment how it represents Him when you allow yourself to be under the influence of alcohol or any other substance.  You have labeled yourself a Christian among your friends.  They are looking at what you do and what you say.  Be responsible for drawing people to God, not turning them away!  

I could begin with potential consequences.  The risks are high and the dangers are real.  You have been through the DARE Program and learned all the stats.  But indulge me and imagine this scenario for a minute.  You are drinking.  Therefore you are not thinking as rationally as you are as you read this.  You convince yourself that you are fine to drive.  Possible consequences?  You get a DUI.  How exactly are you going to get to that shiny new career you are working towards when you can’t drive for the next couple of years?  You injure or kill someone else.  You injure or kill yourself.  These are horrible, I know.  But guess what?  Unlike so many other awful things that can happen in life, these are 100% avoidable.  I made a decision many years ago and I URGE you to do the same:  Even one drink, and I don’t get behind the wheel.  Extreme?  Maybe.  But why risk it?

I could begin with how it looks. We live in a social media world.  You are close to being a teacher.  Your future employers will devour the internet to see what kind of character you have.  Parents of your students will see you out at restaurants.  You may keep your twitter feed and FB page clean, but other people in your world have cameras too.  If I was a principal looking to hire a band director and had 2 candidates, you can be sure that things like character and personal habits would effect my decision.

I could begin with experience.  When a kid is 14 and a parent gives them warnings based on their past experiences, the kid thinks they are stupid and just trying to keep him from having fun.  But as that kid gets older, he begins to realize that experience really is worth something, and adults really do have something to say based on lessons they have learned.  I believe you have come to the point where you know I am not just trying to manipulate your behavior.  I don’t think I have to go into the gory details, but based on my real life experiences, I can honestly say: drinking is not worth it.  The pleasure of a few minutes or hours doesn’t even come close to being worth the potential price you might pay.

So there are lots of places I could begin, but only one real place I want to end.  I love you.  You are beautiful, smart, talented, generous, and a faithful child of God.  You are courageous enough to not care if you are not doing what everyone else around you is doing.  You are wise enough to know that pleasure in the moment is not worth sacrificing the potential of the future.  And you are confident enough to know that you are representing yourself, your family and your God.

Have an awesome birthday, kiddo!  Show ‘em that you are special!

Love, Mom

Random Thoughts

Random thoughts on a winter day.

When my kids were little, I remember getting excited when I got a little break from the day-to-day.....a night out with my girlfriends, a weekend away with my husband.  Now, I get excited when I get to spend time with my kids.  They basically live away at college or in their bedrooms, and I CRAVE rare minutes spent with them.

I wish everyone had a job that they loved as much as I do.  I work with amazing, godly, fun people and it really is a blessing to be a part of a team with common purposes.

There is so much power in thinking about the “wholeness” of the Bible.  All of the little stories are amazing and important and meaningful, and for years that is pretty much all I saw.  But when I look at the whole thing as one big story of God’s relationship and pursuit of us, it is INCREDIBLE!  

Turning 40 was fine and no big deal.  But I can’t think of any part of turning 50 that I am looking forward to.

I think it would be fascinating to have a conversation with 20 year old me.  I’m pretty sure it would be 2 very different people talking to each other.  Thankful that God makes things new and is always faithful!

I am more and more convinced all the time that people are horrible at evaluating themselves...seeing their faults, their sin, their potential.

Bad habits are super hard to overcome.

I kind of stink at this blogging thing.

One thing I would really like to get better at is encouraging people.  Not just an occasional compliment, but genuine life-giving encouragement.  I think that is a rare thing in our society.

I've learned that there are two big things that can suck the joy out of your life.  Regrets about your past and worries about your future.  The key is in remembering that the grace of God is huge and will take care of both of these things.  And THEN, I can find the joy in today.