To my daughter on her 21st Birthday

I have written letters before and included them in my blog for a few reasons.  

1. I figure it is a good place to store them.  
2. I want to publicly celebrate my amazing kids.
3. Sometimes these things will someday apply to my younger kids which is why this letter begins Dear Daughter....




Dear Daughter,

Happy 21st Birthday!  Every birthday is special and always another opportunity to celebrate YOU and the wonderful gift that you are.  Birthdays probably mean the most to parents, who can look back and remember not only the amazing day you were born but all the special times along the way.  Your dad and I are so thankful for you and the perfectly unique way that God put you together and entrusted you to us.

Lots of birthdays are special milestones.  You turned 10 and it was “double digits!”  13 and you became a teenager.  Sweet 16 and you could drive a car.  18 and you were legally an adult and could vote.  Our society has attached a milestone to this birthday as well.  You are 21 and you can legally buy and drink alcohol.

Yikes.  Where to begin...  

I could begin with what God’s Word says about drinking, and I know you have learned this.  The Bible does not prohibit drinking, but it does have some things to say about it.  (1 Corinthians 10:23-24, 1 Corinthians 8:9, Galatians 5:21) I think there is one key to guide it all:  You are an ambassador for Christ!  All the time and everywhere you go.  You are representing Him.  Think for one moment how it represents Him when you allow yourself to be under the influence of alcohol or any other substance.  You have labeled yourself a Christian among your friends.  They are looking at what you do and what you say.  Be responsible for drawing people to God, not turning them away!  

I could begin with potential consequences.  The risks are high and the dangers are real.  You have been through the DARE Program and learned all the stats.  But indulge me and imagine this scenario for a minute.  You are drinking.  Therefore you are not thinking as rationally as you are as you read this.  You convince yourself that you are fine to drive.  Possible consequences?  You get a DUI.  How exactly are you going to get to that shiny new career you are working towards when you can’t drive for the next couple of years?  You injure or kill someone else.  You injure or kill yourself.  These are horrible, I know.  But guess what?  Unlike so many other awful things that can happen in life, these are 100% avoidable.  I made a decision many years ago and I URGE you to do the same:  Even one drink, and I don’t get behind the wheel.  Extreme?  Maybe.  But why risk it?

I could begin with how it looks. We live in a social media world.  You are close to being a teacher.  Your future employers will devour the internet to see what kind of character you have.  Parents of your students will see you out at restaurants.  You may keep your twitter feed and FB page clean, but other people in your world have cameras too.  If I was a principal looking to hire a band director and had 2 candidates, you can be sure that things like character and personal habits would effect my decision.

I could begin with experience.  When a kid is 14 and a parent gives them warnings based on their past experiences, the kid thinks they are stupid and just trying to keep him from having fun.  But as that kid gets older, he begins to realize that experience really is worth something, and adults really do have something to say based on lessons they have learned.  I believe you have come to the point where you know I am not just trying to manipulate your behavior.  I don’t think I have to go into the gory details, but based on my real life experiences, I can honestly say: drinking is not worth it.  The pleasure of a few minutes or hours doesn’t even come close to being worth the potential price you might pay.

So there are lots of places I could begin, but only one real place I want to end.  I love you.  You are beautiful, smart, talented, generous, and a faithful child of God.  You are courageous enough to not care if you are not doing what everyone else around you is doing.  You are wise enough to know that pleasure in the moment is not worth sacrificing the potential of the future.  And you are confident enough to know that you are representing yourself, your family and your God.

Have an awesome birthday, kiddo!  Show ‘em that you are special!

Love, Mom

Random Thoughts

Random thoughts on a winter day.

When my kids were little, I remember getting excited when I got a little break from the day-to-day.....a night out with my girlfriends, a weekend away with my husband.  Now, I get excited when I get to spend time with my kids.  They basically live away at college or in their bedrooms, and I CRAVE rare minutes spent with them.

I wish everyone had a job that they loved as much as I do.  I work with amazing, godly, fun people and it really is a blessing to be a part of a team with common purposes.

There is so much power in thinking about the “wholeness” of the Bible.  All of the little stories are amazing and important and meaningful, and for years that is pretty much all I saw.  But when I look at the whole thing as one big story of God’s relationship and pursuit of us, it is INCREDIBLE!  

Turning 40 was fine and no big deal.  But I can’t think of any part of turning 50 that I am looking forward to.

I think it would be fascinating to have a conversation with 20 year old me.  I’m pretty sure it would be 2 very different people talking to each other.  Thankful that God makes things new and is always faithful!

I am more and more convinced all the time that people are horrible at evaluating themselves...seeing their faults, their sin, their potential.

Bad habits are super hard to overcome.

I kind of stink at this blogging thing.

One thing I would really like to get better at is encouraging people.  Not just an occasional compliment, but genuine life-giving encouragement.  I think that is a rare thing in our society.

I've learned that there are two big things that can suck the joy out of your life.  Regrets about your past and worries about your future.  The key is in remembering that the grace of God is huge and will take care of both of these things.  And THEN, I can find the joy in today.