No Joke. It's War.

War: a state of hostility, conflict, or antagonism; a struggle or competition between opposing forces or for a particular end. (Merriam-Webster)

Can someone be engaged in a war and not even know it? Or more specifically, can CHILDREN be engaged in a war every day and their parents are totally oblivious? They absolutely can! My kids are, and many of your kids are too.

I have a confession. I am a snoop. I am on Twitter and Facebook most every day. I am friends with (FB) and follow (Twitter) many of my girls’ friends. Yeah, they are not always crazy about it. But if people are going to throw things out on the World Wide Web (emphasis on the world-wide), (1) I don’t think I am invading anyone’s privacy, and (2) aren’t we supposed to love and protect our children the best we can?

As a parent, I have control over where my kids spend their free time. And for the most part, I have control over who they spend time with. I can keep them from seeing certain movies and going to parties where I think inappropriate things will be happening. I can say no to “time alone” dates and I can set curfews. And we do all of these things to some extent. But....we cannot insulate our kids in a bubble and the world they live in at school and on-line and elsewhere is nothing short of a war. I feel like my kids’ circle of friends is gradually shrinking (mostly by their good judgment) because of what so many kids are doing.

When I was in school, there was a small group who lived “on the wild side.” Drugs, drinking, sex....but they were looked down on by the VAST majority. I am convinced that somewhere in the last 20 years, this has flipped. Kids who do these things are everywhere and their activities are celebrated around the lunch table on Monday. Walk through the hallways at class change time at the high school and you will be shocked at the language you hear all around you! Look up kids on Twitter and see what they are saying. I am amazed how many parents do not follow their kids on social media sites! You simply need to go as far as a Friday night football game to observe the current teen culture and just how far things have gotten.

My point is this: If parents became aware of the war that is going on every single day, and the things that are fighting for our kids’ hearts, they would engage in the battle and arm our children (yes, a 16 or 17 year old is still a child). There is hope! And I am not even going to take the God argument (I know, surprised aren’t you?) this time. I believe that most parents, Christian or non-Christian, would parent differently if they were aware of what is going on.

Come on! Wake up.....get involved....don’t assume high school is the same as when we were there....snoop a little....talk to your kids---they will tell you. Above all, be a parent and do everything within your power (and then some!) to launch a well-grounded, responsible, confident, adult into the world. Again, Come on!!

Wow! My God Did That.

I believe that God is always showing us (His kids) more of who He is. Sometimes it is through His creation, sometimes it is through the Bible, sometimes it is something someone says. While there is a ton of mystery about God, I love learning more about exactly who He is.

This week is a huge week in the life of our church. This Sunday is Commitment Sunday which is the culmination of a several month fundraising campaign for a new church building. Right now we have a long way to go to reach our goal of 1.8 million in pledges. In fact, some consultants have said that that mark is too high for our church to reach based on our current numbers and giving. I am guessing that they have a lot of experience in this area and can pretty accurately predict what is going to happen.

But. BUT. But, like I said, God wants to show us more of Himself. If we had a safe goal and we just did what we needed to do, we could hit the goal, celebrate, and stick the shovel in the ground and build a building. But this is a CLEAR case of “we are only going to achieve this if God steps in.” Yes, people are going to have to make the sacrifices, but I think the size of the personal sacrifices they are going to have to make, will only happen if God is working in their lives (and corporately, in our church).

When we have the pledges that we need to have, it will be abundantly clear that Grace Fellowship didn’t do this. GOD DID THIS. This stirs my soul to pray earnestly for this Sunday! I am SO excited and totally believing that God is going to do something amazing!!

BUT....what if....it doesn’t happen? Well, my God is no less amazing! He will continue to build his church, but it might not be through us at this very time. God is going to do what He is going to do. But I would so much rather be a part of it! So next week, when all the cards are counted and the numbers are crunched....our response needs to be pure worship! Regardless of the outcome.

My church is awesome. I love my job there...I love Sunday mornings there....I love the community I experience there. But all of that is NOTHING compared to how amazing Jesus is! If we keep that in our minds and hearts, our church will naturally grow and spread and build and plant and become more and more like the church that God intended.

When I grow up....

I have a friend at our church who lives at an Assisted Living facility. I have visited her a handful of times over the past 5 years or so. Each time I visit her, I am so incredibly blessed! Ruth is an amazing woman of God and she is exactly who I want to be when I grow up. Crazy, huh?

You probably wonder how I can aspire to be an 80-something year old woman who lives “alone” in a facility. Well, I don’t know so much about the facility or alone part, but I just love how Ruth is still serving God in very real ways. Ruth gives financially to a church that she has not been able to physically attend in years because she believes in its mission. She receives our church Grace Mail and prayer chain e-mails each week and faithfully prays for each request. Ruth has real kingdom impact on the other residents and staff in her facility.

But perhaps her most important feature and the one that I hope I have someday is her faithful spirit and God-centered focus. She is in a stage of life when she could easily be self-absorbed with her failing physical health like so many other people I have known her age. She could be sad and depressed because so many friends and family members have passed away before her. She could be resigned to no longer having a purpose or mission in this world and therefore given up. However, you can spend just a few minutes with Ruth and you will not find any of these things happening.

Every conversation I have had with her has been full of optimism and enthusiasm and celebration. She gets SO excited when we share with her how God is working in our church and she loves to share stories with us of how she has experienced God moving in her past and present. You will always see a well-used Bible next to her chair along with other Christian books she is reading. At 80+, she is still a student and knows she has things to learn! I love that!

Then I get sad. I think of people who sit in our church most every Sunday. Their lives are FULL of opportunities to serve people and influence others towards God. But those opportunities go completely unfulfilled.

I want to view my life as a series of opportunities...placed in front of me by God. I totally have a choice how I will respond to each one, every minute of every day. Do I want to be like Ruth and run the race with everything I’ve got until the finish line? Or do I want to live like most and just enjoy the scenery along the way, but miss the real purpose and opportunities and blessings?

It's as simple as that.

I have been thinking lately about something that is so extremely simple. The very core of the Bible, the very reason we have a church, the ONLY purpose we are even here on this earth. The Gospel.

I know people (my self included!) who spend hours, and ultimately days and weeks and months of their lives reading the Bible, learning from Christian books, sitting in study groups, listening to eloquent speakers. None of these things are bad and I have been challenged to grow by all of them. But sometimes I think we spend way too much time absorbing knowledge and marinating in good Christian “stuff”, that we lose sight of how simple one little nugget of truth is.

Here is the nugget in my less-than-eloquent words. We are all sinners: filthy, disgusting and totally undeserving of being in relationship with a holy, perfect God. But God loves us so much and wants us back in relationship with Him. And the only way that is possible is through a sacrifice. So God, in the form of a man named Jesus, came to earth and lived a sinless life and died in my place so that I can be in relationship with my Father, God. My only real purpose here on earth is to bring Him glory in all that I do and to tell as many people as possible about Him.

That’s it. As big and amazing as it is, it is beautifully simple.

I have to wonder what God thinks when he sees so many of His kids caught up in the pursuit of more knowledge. A well-written book on evangelism or a captivating speaker on serving the poor are only worthwhile if the reader or hearer is going to get out and do something afterwards!

Please don’t hear me saying to stop reading your Bible or reading other good books or even meeting in study groups. But I think we should all take a good look at our lives and see if these things are really changing who we are and pushing us to live for God and reach people and make disciples. Remember, the nugget is really simple. And if what I am doing is not totally wrapped around that little nugget, than doing those “good” things is really no different than sitting on my couch watching a sitcom or reading a totally secular novel.

I don’t want to even begin to claim to be getting this right. I have a really long way to grow. But my prayer right now is that I will begin to cling to the simple, amazing nugget of truth; and begin to let it shape not so much what I learn, but how I live.

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.” (James 1:22-24)

Random Stuff in My Head

Lately I have had lots of random thoughts in my head and none of them really inspire me to write extensively about them. So for now, I am going to just vomit them out there and see if any of them lead anywhere....

I think I am getting old. I take naps more often. I am having the darned-est time memorizing scripture!

Sarah being in college has gotten me thinking a bunch about my college days. Those were really great times. Tons of freedom and new-found independence, and minimal responsibilities. I didn’t appreciate those concepts enough at the time.

I have a level of restlessness and boredom in my life right now that seem unusual. I am starting to feel like there is something new for me to do. I just haven’t figured out what it is yet. I am going to start praying and listening.

While I have no basis for comparison, I am more and more convinced that dieting is just as hard as breaking a bad habit like smoking or alcohol.

I miss Africa. And I really hope I get to return there someday.

Too often I think I “exist” for God and don’t passionately pursue God.

I have relatives and friends who are going to hell. No doubt about it. Why don’t I do something?

Recently a couple at our church lost a baby at the 38^th week of pregnancy. It made me realize how much I took my pregnancies for granted. I didn’t marvel at the amazing miracle that they were.

Going from being a family of 5 to a family of 4 in our house is a real adjustment. It still feels like Sarah is off at a camp or something.

I think so many people, myself included at times, have a REALLY unhealthy relationship with money.

Praying for someone who I don’t really like very much really DOES change my attitude towards them.

Dear Sarah.....

Sometimes you don’t think about or realize when it is a “last.” Like the last time you let me walk you to the corner to get on the school bus or the last time you wanted me to quiz you for a spelling test or the last time we hung your artwork on the refrigerator. Other times we have celebrated your “lasts.” The last time you were ‘clapped off’ at Diley Middle School or the last time you took a clarinet lesson with Mrs. Lang or the last time you had to wear your back brace or the last time you climbed down from the field commander ladder.

These are all just really awesome moments that get stored up in my heart. I have heard it said before that from the time your child is born until they head off on their own, it is a series of letting go. I remember when the scariest thing was worrying you were going to tumble down the stairs after learning to walk. Then there was the first time you stayed home alone. Then there was the first time I watched you drive off down the street in a car.

I cannot begin to tell you how proud I am of you, Sarah. Someday you will discover the specialness that comes with a first child. I love to think back on the years when it was just you and daddy and I. Of course I love Em and Rach just as much, but those 2 years were pretty awesome as I was learning to be a mommy and you and I had some really great times. Part of my love of going back to Amelia Island is remembering those years. You won’t truly ‘get it’ until you are there yourself.

You have had so many amazing moments and I am so happy to have been there to share them with you. As much as I have prayed for you and the paths that your life will take, I have also thanked God over and over for the extreme privilege of being your mom. It has been the greatest blessing in my life to watch you 3 grow up into beautiful Godly women!

This week you begin a new chapter in your life. This will probably be the biggest single change you have ever (and maybe ever will?) experience. It is going to be exciting and freeing and stressful and scary and fun and...and...and. You have matured and established a character. Now you will prepare for your career. Now you will discover who you are as a person on your own outside of our family. Now you will learn what it is to chase after God on your own rather than being led there by your parents. Maybe you will discover some new things about yourself. Maybe you will meet the person who will be your best friend for the rest of your life. Maybe you will meet the man you will one day marry. Those are some pretty big things....but you are there, Sarah! And I know you are ready to jump in with both feet!!

Yeah, I am going to shed some tears this week. Just chalk it up to stupid sappy mom. Once again, you will get it when you get there too. People laugh at me because you are just going to be in Westerville. Yeah, I know (and I am really glad about it too!). But it is what this week represents that touches a deep, deep place in my heart.

Right now, Sarah, I pray God’s biggest and best and awesome-est blessings on you. I pray that He guards your mind and your heart and your body and your soul. I pray that you learn to lean hard into Him as things get hard or temptations get strong. And I pray that God’s light shines bright through you into the college world that can so often be spiritually dark. I pray that you grow closer and closer to God each day and week and semester and year. No matter how many friends you surround yourself with (and they WILL love you there!) and how many professors you need to please and how many audiences you perform in front of (I will be the one in the front row cheering the loudest!), always remember that you are living your life for an audience of One.

I love you, my dear, sweet, beautiful Sarah.

Hard stuff to get right....

Is it just me or is this REALLY, REALLY hard?

I am thinking of some situations where I want to pray for a specific outcome in those situations. Yet I know that in these situations, I need to be praying for God’s will and not “Beth’s choice.” It is easy to say or think the words (God’s will) when I am talking to God about it. It’s how I know I am supposed to be praying. But internally I still continue to hope for the outcome that I want!

Why is this such a struggle? As I think about it, it could be one of a couple of possibilities...

1. I am selfish. I want what I want and I don’t want to have it any other way.
2. I think I know best....even better than God. By me saying this is the outcome I want to happen, rather than what ever God’s plan is...I am saying I have more faith in my plans and directions than in God’s.

Aren’t these both the foundation of pretty much all sin? Whether it is in the actions we take or the words we speak to others or even in our speaking to God. It’s like we really do believe in God, but we think we can use Him to our advantage by praying for things to go the way we think they should. It’s like He exists more for us than we exist for Him. That is not the way it should be and I know it intellectually. But living that way and praying that way is h-a-r-d!

I want to get better at praying for God’s will in everything. And I don’t just mean saying the words to Him but really believing that whatever outcome happens, it is all part of His plan and it really IS best.

One situation at a time.....I am going to try harder to get this right.