YOU first.

"No one should seek their own good, but the good of others."

1 Corinthians 10:24

I know this verse is part of a section talking about the believer's freedom and refers to abstaining from things out of respect for others. But I still have to think that this verse is the best idea in all situations and could actually be revolutionary if we all learned to practice it.

Think about all of your relationships. I mean everyone from your spouse to your kids to your friends to the lady who rings up your groceries. What if we would always put their good before our own? Even people I know who are kind of doing this, still fall way short. Most people are in our life because of what they can do for us. It sounds awful, but if you really think about it, I think you have to agree. If you have some free time and are going to seek someone out, aren't you going to choose the person who is entertaining to be around and makes you in general feel better about yourself? Your mindset isn't "Who can I spend some time with simply to encourage them or for their good?"

At the core of this problem is our selfishness: "I want to be the one to choose the relationships, define the relationships, and then control the dynamics and how much I am going to give to the other person."

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." (Philippians 2:3) I would say that is a command...not just a suggestion. I think this holds the first step to getting better at this. Before I am going to seek their good before my own, I am going to have to start considering others better than myself. And I am pretty full of myself. I often won't meet their needs if it is going to cost me (who I love more!) something. Maybe it is my time, or my money, or my discomfort of speaking up, or just getting my lazy butt off the couch.

This is so counter-cultural and counter-intuitive. Society says to put me first. AND my sin problem says to put me first. Those are 2 pretty big forces to overcome. But...."The one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." (1 John 4:4) Hope! I know I am not going to achieve this next week or even perfectly in my lifetime. But with God's help, I know I can do better.

And isn't it fun to dream about a world where everyone got better at this?